Caroll Spinney with Oscar the Grouch 2014, by Montclair Film Festival, licensed under CC BY 2.0, Cropped

I always wanted to be the kind of mom who her kids felt they could say anything to. Don't we all get stuck in predicaments where we wish we had a trusted person to hear us out and help? I hoped and will always hope that my boys feel they can come to me with any of their feelings and for guidance.

The good news is, I think I'm hitting my mark. But in the "be careful what you wish for department," I got an earful today. This is not a complaint. I don't want it any other way. It is an observation. Sharing in joyous feelings is super easy. Hearing about how tough things feel for my son and without much of a solution other than "this too shall pass," can feel exhausting.

A family member is a therapist, and she was empathizing with me on how much energy it takes to listen mindfully and (in my situation today) to deflect the negativity. The camaraderie felt nice, and I imagined myself in hindsight lifting a heavy golden shield to ward off bad vibes. So cool how hindsight sometimes works. That image helped.

It has taken me some number of years to learn self-care, manage my own emotions, and not internalize someone else's feelings. I'm not perfect at it, and sometimes I fail. I find that when I clear things on an energetic or spiritual level, that's when I get the most benefit.

The next step is teaching my kids how to clear that negative energy when it hits them. It's taken me a long time to figure it out. I wish that were something easier for me to impart.


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